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Interview with iralee, by mattr, august 2007

Talking about your next life: If you had to choose between being ugly or being dumb…what would you prefer?

I’d hate to endure either blessing individually. Being ugly is inconsequential if you’re too dumb to know you’re ugly and pin the advantage of nerd cool 2007. A dumb person has feelings, but nobody cares, because their ugly, so what do those feelings really amount to? Only a beautiful person would ask this question. You’re one of them.
Are you happy with your life?
I It’s constantly happening. It’s a hell of a ride. Life is real. So, no.
What’s your goal in making music?
Making friends. Maintaining them would be refreshing, in some capacity
Do you read? What? Why? Why not?
When I’m not in love. I’m reading Ice T’s ‘The Ice Opinon’ and various columns in the source circa 95. Simultaneously. Thompson, Welsh, Zeus, Stine, all that hippy shit. I have the better part of ‘Hunger artist’ memorized until you ask me to prove it. Shouts to Grubbs.
What’s your favourite book?
The little red bible and the world news. Anything with bat boy or aliens. I’m as much of a fan of 90’s teen novels by Gordon Korman as I am of how much fecal matter, insert celebrity name here discharges on the daily. I was really into sci fi when I was a younger queer, anything William Sleator ever wrote. Sleator dropped a sci - fi novel on some crazy shit called ‘The boy who reversed himself’ about the same time those shitty RL Stine teen horror novels we’re late 80’s early 90’s post - scenester cool. It’s about a kid that figures out how to slip into different dimensions through specific moments and movements and emotions. He ends up meeting, battling, and having to outwit his exact opposites, reverses, diagonals, inverses, all these duplicate multi dynamic forms of his own person, his own subconscious, and his diluted, angst –y teenage reality. Our hero gets lost upside down, running from a back wards of himself, and inside out of himself in two dimensional space, in one dimensional time. So Yes. I did have a lot of boy friends. Chicks dig the tuck back.
What’s your favourite word?
Kiss.
Do you drink tea?
Yes. At the rainbow club with my boyfriends.
Have you ever killed an animal? Do you regret it?
IOne time I kicked a cat really hard. But he was okay, for sure. I made sure. I hate cats. The fucking selfish little cock suckers. If you freeze a wasp, you can tie a string to it’s wings and walk it like a dog. Life is real. Don’t kill bugs.
Thinking about your past, what do you regret?
I’m too selfish to think everyone I hurt doesn’t deserve it. I’m a walking talking Jay Z lyric(s).
Are you still interested in the hip hop movement? Why? Why not?
I represent rap music to the fullest. It’s who I am. Rap is life, rap is the best. I DO AND WILL CONTINUE TO SUBORDINATE MY EGO, DISCIPLINE, AND LIFE to hip hop culture.
Do you believe?
More than anything, I need to. I almost cried there.
What’s the meaning of life?
Processes.
What are your influences?
Shiny, distances, bugs, big, eating, alcohol, kids, breath, cartoons, dandelions, virgins, gum, arguing, past, holes, kissing, peach, Nessa – v is wack, dreams, fear, buttons, creamy, waving, cocaine, eyes, love, poop, hope, burning, things, stuff, people, hurt, strange, color, wind, dirt, but not rocks.
Why do you perform on stage?
So I can sleep at night.
How is life in Saskatoon?
Good, but it’s not far enough away from Regina to be safe.
Does climate have any influence on your music?
When it’s sunny I feel like every girl I see should be pregnant. I hide and grow a beard every winter. These are the days of my last ten years on terra firma.
With whom would you like to work with?
Anybody who can stand me.
Who’s your favourite mc?
Classified, Moka Only, Dl – Incognito, K-os, Bless and Uffie. It’s a really lyrical choice. I usually listen to all three at once.
Who’s your favourite god?
Their all my niggaz god. Jesus is kind of a bitch but, I can appreciate that in a part time savior.
Whom would you rather never have met?
YMartin Luther King. Just so I could be like doode ‘ thank you for everything, you’re shit is so fundamentally and theoretically the only REAL answer. SOOO on point and trusting, and filled with hope.
Which wrecks the world. Hugs don’t scare guns doode. But fuck. you did it.
Would you like to have perfect memory?
Ghosts in pristine detail? Perfection in recollection would drive the side to side razor motion into some serious up and down action.
Would you like to be he most intelligent man on earth?
It’d be too hard to get pussy.
Would you like to be famous?
Fame is for hockey players and lesbians on public transit. All I need is a good jacket and a nice hardworking boy to break up with forever and ever. Amen.
What was your favorite job as a child?
I worked at a call centre in Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada .We’d rob them for hundreds of dollars every night. We’re supposed to be soliciting surveys for some kind of public opinion poll and we’d do two or three questions then veer off into a music survey ultimately convincing anyone under 25 (which we’d ask during the initial parts of the survey) our sliced bread rap trelease, could make you shit purple roses. Take cd orders, mail them on the office dollar, use the office mailboxes for incoming mail. Hook the call centre agents up with an extra 2.50 turning their 8.50 $ CAD into a whopping 11.00$ CAD per / hour for doing less work, mouth shut styels, and two forty five minute coffee breaks. This fat kid name Chad would cook oil in the staff room and get blowjobs from my ex girlfriend. After all the expenses we’d pay one kid fifty bucks to complete an entire 23 person staff worth of survey questionnaires in just 4 hours. Cleared about 900 bucks a week plus 600 each for meeting predetermined consumer inquiry poll targets in wages after taxes. It was fun until I realized I could go to prison. My fashion statement dreads where this close to being bubba’s sweaty chocolate handlebars. I just wasn’t ready to be a pregant teenage girl in Stoney. So I quit to kick things and break stuff on my own terms.
What’s good rap for you?
I like songs about rap and saving the culture. Respect the history.
What’s good music?
My homies stuff. Especially Eekwol, and palechild.
Which person or persons, now dead, would you like to see again?
Thomspon for sure. Doode, put down the rifle and let’s fucking smoke this. Screaming Jay Hawkins. Is he dead? I mean C’mon, doode has everything. I would have liked to have been part of the Warhol drugged out scenester transvestite drag queen fashionista Studio 54 period. As cliche white bread vice magazine filter as that sounds, I can relate to positioning, poisoning and succubus -ing other peoples lives for instant emotional and artistic perpetuity. Banksy is dope, but anything popular is wrong! (Right Louise?)
Which not?
Next question.
Would you rather have belonged to a different nation (or civilization)? If so, which?
I always wanted to be a student in the sitcom ‘ a different world’ growing up a mixed race mutt, it was my first exposure to masturbation.
To what age do you wish to live?
38, good numbers. Some mayan shit, do the knowledge. I spelt mayan wrong, and again.
If you had the power to put into effect things you consider right, would you do so against the wishes of the majority? (Yes or no)
Hero’s take chances with other peoples lives. That’s what we do. yes.
Why not, if you think they are right?
I’m the de – cider.
Do you love anybody?
Yes. Mettage 2007. The ultimate love of my teenage perversion. Ass like a love song. Boobs like a symphony. Our song is anything by Roch Voisine, she makes me masturbate in french. I’m so gay for rousse.
How do you know?
I just do. Asshole.
What do you need in order to be happy?
Vindication. They’re going to hate themselves for not believing in me.
What are you grateful for?
Every single moment from when I open my self serving eyes at the crack of mid - late afternoon, to when I close them every single drunken stupor for the rest of my unnatural tragedy.
Which would you rather do: die or live on as a stone?
die. Stones are gay.
What’s your favorite planet?
The newest one discovered in the brownbelt nebula, Emo.
What’s your favorite instrument?
Sacrifice.
What’s your favorite tree?
Settle the score from a Sycamore.
Do you like swimming?
Any excuse to take off my shirt off and lay in the grass is an excuse to puke a little bit inside your mouth.
What projects are you currently involved in?
asian girl.

And I'm just about to release a cd, I can’t remember what it’s called. Who cares. Download the shit and save some scratch for the new whatever it is you fruitcakes do. i think heywood and rbc have it on their mom's computers as well. holler!
Why does no one ever interview ira lee except for swiss german stud muffins?
People are fucking pussy’s. present company included. The only advantage I have over 99.999.999 percent of the rappers, rap artist, electro metro queers, hardcore g fruits, whatever… in Canada….. is that I am not afrid tio ghet shot in the face over something completely ridiculous. Sadly, I am confrontation. My biggest creative influences fold faster than superman on laundry day and I just cannot, no matter how much I resent my loss of anti – superhero. When I write a song about fucking my mother, you can damn well believe it’s unprotected.
What are your future plans?
Keep my fingers crossed. In general. Try to actively not hate rappers or producers who are better than me, or more naturally talented, or marketed. I’m trying to despise and discriminate on more people based on the color of their skin as well as other irrelevant, but deliciously ironic reasoning and justification. Seems like the wrong thing to do at the exact right time.
any last words?
librarians are hiding something.....

ira lee's for the kids!